The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!
- ISBN13: 9781401302269
- Condition: New
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Nationally recognized communication expert Debra Fine reveals the techniques and strategies anyone can use to make small talk-in any situationDo you spend an abnormal amount of time hiding out in the bathroom or hanging out at the buffet table at social gatherings? Does the thought of striking up a conversation with a stranger make your stomach do flip-flops? Do you sit nervously through job interviews waiting for the other person to speak? Are you a -Nervous Ned or Nellie+ when it comes to netw
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(out of 71 reviews)
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Review by steve for The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!
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This book was a real disappointment. Although the information on the cover doesn’t say so, it’s aimed almost exclusively at people in business situations; almost all of Fine’s examples deal with corporate conferences and other networking events. For example, her top suggested line for exiting conversations is “I need to go see the exhibits.” She continually emphasizes how improving your small talk skills will win you new clients, a promotion, etc. What about just making friends? The idea that you might want to improve your conversational skills in everyday social or family situations is hardly mentioned at all.
Fine also has some peculiar ideas about what constitutes “small talk.” She offers a long list of “icebreakers” for initiating conversations with people you don’t know. Unfortunately nearly all of these are too personal, too serious, or just bizarre. Imagine trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger by saying, “If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?” The person would just think you’re either nosy or a kook. She even suggests using political statements as conversation starters, which is just asking for trouble.
There are a few good suggestions in the book; she has useful advice for dealing with egocentric people who talk endlessly about themselves. However, all of Fine’s good ideas could easily fit on two or three pages.
Review by for The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!
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Facilitated in a seminar setting, you listen and feel as though you are participating with the group. The conversation skills taught in this tape are well presented and Deborah is extremely motiviating. I am using her suggestions in practice and find that I am becoming more outgoing already as a result. You will truly see a positive difference in how people relate to you when you take the burden off of them and start the conversation yourself.
Review by Cris McLaughlin for The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!
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I found myself walking around day to day saying, “folks just aren’t friendly”… my neighbors, church members, parents at my child’s school, folks I see every day/week at the grocery store and believe it or not relatives. I think Debra Fine has hit on some of the key reasons that I was not finding folks to be “friendly”. Some of the reasons being: we are socialized to be wary of strangers, we think too many questions makes us nosy, introducing ourselves and others is not easy always, initiating, carrying on and ending a conversation is a challenge and lastly, finding similarities and interest in our conversation partners is hard at times.
Ms. Fine advised that no one can wait to be introduced or expect someone else to initiate the conversation and she is right. When I used the suggestions it made a world of difference in the contacts and connections that I began to make. I used the suggestions in professional and personal settings, with women and men and with folks my age and teens.
What I relay to folks when I use these techniques is “I care about you” and “I am interested in you as a person”. The feedback I have recieved from people is that I make them feel good, in a world that is too busy I take time. That is really the bottom line about this book, why would I not use the suggestions when the potential is to evoke that kind of feeling from folks that you interact with everyday of your life.
Lastly, I have used this book in many ways. I have passed the book to my husband who works in a technical field is reading the book and has begun using some of the suggestions at his workplace and finding them to be applicable. As a homeschooling parent I used the book as part of a communciations curriculum for my 16-year-old son. Many of the stategies he used to get a job and now to maintain his employment; he has been told he is a wonderful conversationalist.
Review by for The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!
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At the same time, I have ordered Debra’s tape, I have bought also 7 others books and video, audio tapes from others authors, on the same subject of conversation. Debra’s tape , definitely appears to me, easy, confortable, to apply for any occasions to talk to people Her voice is very friendly and warm. I am so glad to have found Debra’ audio tape. She gives , not only advice and techniques, but immediate examples of small talk for introducing yourself , with warmness and giving people the chance and the desire to develop conversation with you. Usually, when invited to dinner, or cocktails , or meeting , I go with the apprehension to meet new people , and to be in the situation of nothing to say , and to appear not interesting to be with.The days after listening to Debra’s tape, I have the opportunity to apply in a dinner . I was the guest on a table of 12 persons that I did not know. The evening was lovely, because at last I could engage conversation with new people, as if we were friends. I feel much more confortable ,in such short time and I know that with more training with this tape, I will allow myself, for near future, to love meeting new people, as well as to talk friendly with my clients, my hairdresser, old friends… I really recommend this tape to who wishes to leave a positive impression.
Review by tommyc7 for The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!
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When deciding whether or not to buy this book, you are obviously reading the reviews (otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. ;) ). Please think about the type of book this is as you read the reviews. This is a book designed for people who are more comfortable dealing with machines, numbers, logic, animals, etc., then they are with people. The author freely admits that she was an engineer and wrote this book to help other engineers and technical people. It is a beginner’s book on how to interact with people. If you are married, for example, you probably don’t need this book. You were able to talk to someone. I suspect the people who found it boring or uninformative were too advanced. Like a brain surgeon reading a high school biology book. But, if you’re extremely shy and get really nervous when interacting with people, you must own this book.